“ Relations are like stapler pins - easy to attach, but very hard to detach... and even if the pin is removed, it always leaves its mark.”
Before this week, I had read many similes for relationships – some profound, some funny, and some simply interesting. But somehow, this one did leave a mark – and it did make me smile.
I guess just the word relationship, in itself is complex. It involves expectations, emotions, and this inane desire of being liked/accepted. And what adds to the complexity is that what we want to like and accept what we “want”. And if that’s not enough, we “want” to be liked and accepted what we project – and that is not necessarily what it is. Top it with stress, lack of time, absence of open communication, “i-me-myself”, my desires, my goals, yada, yada, yada – and the reality that familiarity exposes.
That’s when familiarity starts breeding contempt, and gives birth to power games, strategies, and unpleasantness. If one person tries to be honest, and talk – the other one is hurt, disappointed, and there is this never ending downward spiral.
What is more desirable – staying attached, or detaching, and living with the mark. Or just to be honest, and realistic when you attach yourself?
staying attached is my view,
ReplyDeletei have a 15 year realtionship with my wife, 8 years before marriage and 7 years after marriage, in past so many years, i have realized the importance of my wife and the thought of staying attached, now the obvious question is how did i realize the importance of my wife in my life:
1. comunication: in the begining of my relationship with my wife, i use to hide my financials with her and becuase of that, i allways feel frustrated, one day i have discussed my financials with her and current condition, she helped me not just emotionally but financially also
2. spending time : it is very very important to spend time in any relationship, this will help your relatiship to grow
3. preassumptions : please no prassumptions please in realtionship
4. listen : rather than speaking try listening,
5. dominance : in a relation ship both the parties are equal
to be honest, i apply some of them and it is much better than before and honest fights do happen but not than often
thanks
Thanks for your note and comment.
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