Happy it is December Already - or Surprised #Whatayear

#Jordan #DeadSea #Deadsalt

Whoa - this as been some year!!

Zen | Bliss

Slept late last night or early morning @ 2:00 AM.

Work up @ 4:00 to go the airport.

22 hours straight that I have not slept.

State of mind - Zen

Reason - Talking to three awesome, old friends - on the way to airport, in cab, and waiting at airport.

Feeling - Sharing crazy current times, laughing at silly jokes, and remembering old, crazy fun times - and the thoughts that everything will be good! And that hope matters!!

Some things money really cannot buy :-). For everything else, there is either a debit or a credit!!

2013...

2013...

Fresh start .... fresh 365 days... and I am hoping they will be far better ... far better than 2012 :-).

Loved this message from one of my best friends..."wishing you a very happy, prosperous, fun-filled, less travel intensive, shopping-full, peaceful,and safe 2013 - with loads of love".

Thank you my dearest -- and I hope the same for you. I also hope that i am able to forgive more - and let go more often :-).

Cheers to fresh start and to new beginnings!!

Circular Conversations - Aha or Aaargh???

A – It frustrates me when you don’t respond. It freaks me out!!

B – You only complain. You don’t care if the person is dead or alive!!!

A – Well I do care, and that’s why it freaks me out….

B – You freak out for no reason. It is just too irritating….

Really – are you trying to listen, or emotionally abuse, or you just simply don’t get it!!!

Relationships Ahoy!

“ Relations are like stapler pins - easy to attach, but very hard to detach... and even if the pin is removed, it always leaves its mark.”

Before this week, I had read many similes for relationships – some profound, some funny, and some simply interesting. But somehow, this one did leave a mark – and it did make me smile.

I guess just the word relationship, in itself is complex. It involves expectations, emotions, and this inane desire of being liked/accepted. And what adds to the complexity is that what we want to like and accept what we “want”. And if that’s not enough, we “want” to be liked and accepted what we project – and that is not necessarily what it is. Top it with stress, lack of time, absence of open communication, “i-me-myself”, my desires, my goals, yada, yada, yada – and the reality that familiarity exposes.

That’s when familiarity starts breeding contempt, and gives birth to power games, strategies, and unpleasantness. If one person tries to be honest, and talk – the other one is hurt, disappointed, and there is this never ending downward spiral.

What is more desirable – staying attached, or detaching, and living with the mark. Or just to be honest, and realistic when you attach yourself?

Self destruction or self protection….

I again canceled a lunch plan, last minute, with some random excuse.  The invite was for a fancy Italian restaurant – and at one of my favorite dining places. But what did I do – sent a random excuse via an SMS, and there… canceled it! Obviously the invitee was annoyed beyond words… 

What’s happening to me? I surely don’t enjoy sitting and sulking at home instead. Neither do I enjoy complaining about the lack of outings. Then – why do I decline when I have an option to go… what is it with me – am I fearing getting into relationships? Or I have started to fear social interactions?? Or I am just lazy to get out of a regular work and home routine?